Still Alive in 2005
And so this is Christmas and what have you done
Another year over; a new one just begun
-John Lennon (“Happy Christmas, War is Over”)
John Lennon is God.
With his rousing and unforgettable Christmas ditty (an all-time fave), the late, great Beatle truly encapsulated the essence and spirit of the holidays. Pure genius at work. So what have we really done? As the big day draws near, we are but helplessly confined to bouts of soul-searching and constant self reflection. Life altering questions flood our mind. Major decisions must be made. The year zoomed by like a blur, the new one looming in the horizon. We are but silent witnesses to the ravages of time and the eternally unfulfilled promise of the future.
Our last day at work and I can’t help but feel lethargic. Everybody seems to be in heightened vacation mode, albeit giddily looking forward to the endless streams of drinking, feasting and all the other delights that Christmas brings. Yup. It’s gonna be a veritable cornucopia of hedonism delight once more. Same old thing. Year after year after year. Not that I’m complaining. This is the utopian dream – no worries, no cares and no waking up at ungodly hours. The holidays have been witness to some of my greatest feats of debauchery – consuming inhuman amounts of booze, nicotine and everything else in between was and still is normal fare come Christmas season.
Last official working day of the year. A crossroad of significant proportions to say the least. Though I feel I haven’t come full circle yet, 2004 was a turning point. It marked my much overdue re-entry into the rat race. Prior to that, I was just another devil-may-care bum unmindfully making my way through the labyrinth of this mortal coil. Two plus years religiously spent on booze, babes and all sorts of bacchanalia. I sure do miss the good ole days. Yet, I was also resigned to the fact that I had to haul my ass to work to earn my pittance. Slaves to the wage we all are.
As we pause and reflect on the year that was, we can’t help but feel trapped in a state of anxiety and exasperation. For those gifted with boundless optimism, a new opportunity for changes and the vow of better things to come. For those perpetually caught in a state of cynicism and loathing, another round of miseries and sorrows to bear. You pick your poison. Been there, done that.
Yes, there were the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Everything went by like a blur. If you ask me, this has been quite a pretty good year indeed. I met many interesting and worthwhile people with whom I shared some pretty good experiences. Work has been mighty fine so far, especially my present one. Now as for what the coming year has to offer, that is the great unknown staring me squarely in the face.
My motto for 2004 was “Pabor na Pabor sa 2004. Simple and catchy. Fortunately for me, it somehow came true. For the approaching year, I am envisioning a more cautious and somber maxim so as not to over-extend the spate of luck and blessings creeping in. “I’m Still Alive in 2005” A brave and bold proclamation from someone who’s still figuring out how to navigate the twists and turns that litters the bumpy road ahead.
One life. One love. We need to share it.
